A Poem: I Stayed Up Late

I like the quiet that comes with the night.

When things are still,

and the world is asleep.

In the nights before you were born;

When I grew and grew and grew,

I stayed up late.

I stayed up late to fold your tiny little clothes,

to imagine life with you here,

to write love letters for a person I hadn’t yet met.

In the nights when you had just arrived,

when you were all squishy and slept often, but not a lot;

I stayed up late.

I stayed up late watching the rising and falling of your chest,

waiting for sudden little movements followed by delicious settling,

listening for grunts and groans.

In the nights when you grew and grew and were still wee but walking,

when I was tuckered from your running,

I stayed up late.

I stayed up late inventing stories and surprises to delight you with in the morning.

I stayed up late taking temperatures and catching throw up all of those times you were sick.

In the nights when you grew and grew and stretched out tall, but still held my hand sometimes,

and you needed me to tuck you in.

I stayed up late.

I stayed up late making your lunches (sometimes with the little notes);

signing school forms and preparing class valentines cards.

I stayed up late to watch the television shows with swearing that you would’ve been delighted to learn.

In the nights when you grew and grew and sprouted hair and thought about dating,

I stayed up late.

I stayed up late willing you to get home safely;

hoping you were making wise choices and,

sneaking into your bedroom to sit in awe of how big your feet now were.

In the nights when you grew and grew and no longer needed me, but were there because you wanted me;

We stayed up late.

We stayed up late playing card games and laughing about the before times.

We stayed up late with friends and partners who you so graciously wanted to share with me.

In the nights when you grew and grew and became a parent,

I stayed up late.

I stayed up late watching over you, so you might watch over them, while they grew and grew.

Forever awed, proud and in love,

I stayed up late.